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- Last Activity:
- Apr 19, 2017
- Joined:
- Nov 8, 2015
- Messages:
- 270
- Likes Received:
- 101
- Gender:
- Male
- Location:
- /r/yiff/
- Occupation:
- Professional masturbator
IIsIlluminati
Restricted Member, Male, from /r/yiff/
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeemeeeeeeeesssssss!!!!! Jun 16, 2016
- IIsIlluminati was last seen:
- Apr 19, 2017
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About
On a hot day in the middle of August I was walking down the road trying to get to my apartment so I can post some dank ass memes. There was a old rusty white van siting on the side of the road, there was a crazy alien that lives in that van, people call him Awwwyessss. Legend has it that Awwwyessss has the most dankest memes to ever live on earth. I was walking next to the van when the back does bust open and I hear him say "hey kid, want some memes?", his breathe smells like Doritos and Mountain Dew Baja blast. "what kind of memes?" I reply. "Some really dank ones. Not those shitty montage parodies, but some memes that are so dank they are like the ark of the covenant. When you touch the meme you jizz a little!" He must not be lying, the inside of the van had some jizz dripping from the ceiling, I could tell that if you shinned a black light on it it would glow like pile of glow sticks. "OK, sure I would have some memes" I jumped in the van trying to avoid the cum to get on me. His van had a shitty Chinese router sitting next to an empty box of Mountain Dew. He had a computer in there, a brand new custom built one with a FaZe logo sticker on the back of the monitor. "How the **** do you get money to buy this stuff?" I said "I have my ways" Awwwyessss responded as he hides a bag of rare Pepes. "Now you want to see the memes or not? This is not a lounge to jerk off in! But it sorta is" he said. I look on his monitor and there is 12 tabs of hentai open, not a surprise. "Alright show me the memes!" I said, he reaches into the glove box taking out some shit memes like Nyan Cat and troll face. Behind all of those memes was a gold chest with "Memes" spelled out with diamonds on the top of it. Awwwyessss puts on some rubber gloves with a swastika on it before reaching to grab the chest. "Now I warn you, if you touch these memes you will jizz" he said. He places down the chest and opens it. There is a bright light shining from the chest, all I can here is bass drops, mw2 hit markers and o shit waddup. The light goes away and Awwwyessss starts taking off his gloves and reaches into the memes taking out an Intervention, he says "now like I said these will make you jizz and I already did" I look on the wall of the van and there is fresh jizz splattered on it. "Damn son where did you find this?" I said "I make them, now reach into the chest and take a meme" he said. I reach into the chest taking out dat boi, I then jizz onto the back of the seat of the van and the cum that did not squirt so far starts to run down my leg, staining my blue fur. "My god, these memes are good!" I said "can I take 2 more?" "sure, just remember if you post these 50% of the profit goes to me" he said. I take a Spongegar and a hit marker with me and put them in a plastic bag so I won't splooge any more. I get out of the van again trying to avoid the cum but I failed and got some on my tail. "See you later!" I yell at him backing away from the van "bye! And remember to heil Hitler" he yells back. I make it to my apartment and I can hear the fox who lives on the floor above me having sex with his spas-12 again "Tails shut the **** up or I will I'll call the cops again!" I Yelled "Do it! I dare you" he yells back. I did not bothering picking up the phone and I drop my bag of memes next to my desk. I look on my favorite illegal meme trading site 4chan to see if anyone wants to buy a Spongegar or a hit marker, I'm going to keep dat boi because there is high demand on them and a low supply so I'm going to keep it till the price reaches an all time high. I got offer for the Spongegar and I started to pick it up then I forgot that if you touch it you will jizz. I picked it up and I splooged on the wall and some ricocheted off the wall and came towards me at full force hitting me and knocked me onto the ground. My fur was drenched in cum and my tail stuck on the ground because the jizz was making it stick to the carpet. The cum on the wall started to drip into the outlets making them spark and it made the wires blow up sending the memes flying across the room. Dat boi landed near me, even though touching a meme twice that strong could kill me I reached out to grab it. I grabbed a hold of it and the room starts to flood with cum, at this point I knew I was going to die. My tail became unstuck and I try to stand back up. The room is now filled with 2 feet of cum, my paws are now a shade of gray instead if of jet black. The room is filling up rapidly with cum, I'm now close the door I try to grasp onto the doorknob but the pads of my paws are sticking onto it making it hard to open the door. The cum is now at 5 feet I start to scream for help. I soon hear the sound of someone coming down the stairs to help. "Hold on I can help you!" the voice is muffled and I can't tell who it is. I hear the pump of a shot gun and my door breaks open, the cum starts rushing out of the door and down the stairs and taking it with me. I end up on the ground of the parking lot flooded with 2 inches of jizz. I start to pant heavily and my dick starts to hurt. Later that day I was arrested for charges of meme possession and public indecency even though I am a fox and other people like me bare it all too. 2 weeks later I was diagnosed with ejectile dysfunction.Interact